There is a quaint suburban view out of the office window. The unkept garden coming into colour, a variety of trees budding and the occasional bird. I’m beginning to think that I would love to see more life back there… a few more birds, squirrels, hedgehogs, foxes. I may start feeding the wildlife… and take pleasure in those simple things.
This thought has been stirring since we found that we did indeed have terrorists hiding in our basement. Sometime on saturday screams were heard. Sounded like Oria. Oria has been on retreat this week… maybe to recover from the shock. Anna was worried about some of the stuff we have been sroring down there. So I being the guy in the house was left to deal with the situation. What exactly were we storing down in the basement? Could the recent problems with the heating and the funny noises coming from below our house be the result of terrorist taking squat?
Armed with nothing what so ever but the self defence I learned from training videos such as Karate Kid (all four of them) and sessions with Andy in the art of Tekken. Oh and not forgetting all I have learnt on military proceedure from the heavy coverage of the invasion and occupation of iraq by the coalition. Obviously then I approached the basement with confidence and justification (by all the ‘yes men’, well women, I had surrounded myself with). Red tape halted my progress but I was hot headed and knew I was going to do what I wanted anyway.
Got past the door and made the journey down the stairs. There was little to no resistance when I reached the main basement room rather I was greated by a journalist and a hyped foreigner. The terrorists had obviously ran off, I had liberated the basement. Now what was I going to do with it? Seemed like an anti-climax, all was fun up to that point. But then I almost got hit by hidden militia, chaos started again. Seemed like guerrilla tactics, no sorry more like squirrel tactics. For it was not an evil terrorist hold on our basement but just a baby squirrel. The squirrel put up a fight but I eventually coaxed ‘Henry’ outside, he wasn’t evil just a little scared and confused. I gave the rascal some biscuits and let him go free. I didn’t find any nasty weapons and I didn’t take it out on the baby squirrel.
Haven’t been down the basement since; for all I know Henry could be back in there and plotting evil. Maybe I should have hit him with a spade as one on looker suggested. I remember the claims, “Don’t feed him, he’s vermin. Look at his colour, all he does is kill red squirrels.”
Maybe there is an evil squirrel out there who needs to be taken to justice but it’s not Henry, and it’s not his friends and family. I won’t take prejudgice, I will keep the peace with love (in the form of biscuits). I won’t kill Henry cause of his colour and status. I won’t enforce liberation and peaceful conditions through an occupation of the basement. There must be another way.
More love, more peace, more biscuits!